I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
