I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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