Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
