fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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