Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
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No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
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This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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