..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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