I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize