You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
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He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
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Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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