He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
