Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
