i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
