I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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