um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize