I heard we made out
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
