I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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