If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Someone shit on the floor
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize