So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
