You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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