I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
