I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize