Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
