I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
