Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
and she was petting her beer can
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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