She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I had to cum in my sink.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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