Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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