i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
