Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
