you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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