Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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