how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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