my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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