its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
