I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
