So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
