i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
