GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
