How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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