i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
