I seem to have left my pride at pride
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
