Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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