Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
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