one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
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Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
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Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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