if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
this is an emotional support booty call
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize