bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
