Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Randomize