You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He shit in the fireplace
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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