Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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