she woke up with a sticky ear
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
just tell him i said nine months
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I need a beard to bite.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
