your thong is hanging out like whoa
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
