She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
