they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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