i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
