How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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