can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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