Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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