she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
