I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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