take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
