I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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