im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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