She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
