The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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