oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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