Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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