Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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