I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
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