My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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