I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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