So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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