im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
