Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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