its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
